Daddy Saiyan
by ice queen
Summary: Vegeta tells a bedtime story, with someone listening in. Big Bad Saiyan and Little Blue Screaming Shrew!


"Daddy, tell me the story of the big bad saiyan again

Daddy Saiyan

By Ice Queen

Disclaimer: I don't own DBZ.Big surprise, no?

"Daddy, tell me the story of the big bad saiyan again?"

"Trunks, it's past the woman's bedtime for you and I have training to do!Now go to sleep you ungrateful brat."The voices, though low, carried into the hallway, causing a very strange reaction from a well know passerby.

"If you don't tell me I'll tell Goten that you still put me to bed!"The child's voice called out slightly tauntingly."And then Gohan will find out!"The five year old knew exactly what buttons to push, Bulma thought proudly.

"Alright, but just this once, and then you go to sleep or I knock you out."Vegeta grumbled.Bulma put down the book she had been taking to her room and sat on the floor next to the door.This would be interesting, she thought.

"Once upon a time there was a powerful saiyan.His size didn't matter because he was the most powerful of the fighters in the galaxy."

In other words he was short... Bulma thought, trying not to laugh.The voice continued, husky enough to make the child fall asleep at any time."This saiyan had just finished a large battle, and was very very hungry.He knew that if he waited long enough Little blue screaming shrew would come through the woods to her fathers house."

Little blue-WHAT?? Bulma wanted to scream, but this was still too good a chance to pass up, so she held her tongue."Little Blue screaming shrew always brought treats to her father, and the saiyan knew if he could get to her before she got to her father he could steal her treats, and maybe even make her cook and clean for him.The saiyan was above such petty household chores."She could almost see the five year old nodding wisely.

"And one day, just as the very intelligent saiyan had predicted, Little blue came driving by.She was pretty good looking for not being a saiyan, so he stopped her bike and demanded her food, rather then killing her outright." The voice jumped a few decibels, mangling an attempted female voice."I would never cook for a bum like you!You killed my boyfriend! She screamed."The voice paused as the child laughed loudly.It then returned to normal again."Little Blue was always one to hold petty grudges, even though the boyfriend was a looser."

"So the saiyan grabbed the basket from her, rather then debate on who he had killed and who his little green lackies had killed for him.He took a bite of her cooking and almost choked to death right then and there."Trunks laughter ricocheted through the hallway, making Bulma smile despite the fact she had just been made fun of."This was an amazing feat because the saiyan had eaten many disgusting things in his life as a warrior.After he regained the ability to breathe he was in awe of such talent."

"She, being a screaming shrew, never noticed this new respect and began scolding him. 'You shouldn't take things that don't belong to you!' she said, making the saiyan confused. Then she drove off, leaving the saiyan to wonder what in the hfil she was talking about."Bulma was having a very hard time keeping a straight face at this point, but she couldn't laugh because she might have missed a part of the story.

"By the time the saiyan had figured out what she had done little blue screaming shrew had been long gone for a while.He had no choice but to wait for her one more time.He figured that even if she couldn't cook she could be a good housekeeper, and was strong enough that she might even be a good mate.He wanted his brats to be stronger then Kakkoratts. Kakkoratt was the goofy saiyan down the street."

"So the next day he waited in the same spot as before, and just as he predicted, little blue screaming shrew came driving down the way on her dinky little scooter.He jumped out in front of her, making her screech and run crashing into a tree.The saiyan knew that she was a weakling, and a little bump into a tree might possibly kill her so he grabbed her before she hit.But little blue screaming shrew could have cared less, merely taking out a large skillet and hitting the poor saiyan over the head."Vegeta sounded quite miffed at this point but Trunks found it hilarious, obviously imagining his mother knocking his father out with an overly large skillet.

"The saiyan growled at her, knowing that many great fighters would run screaming at the sound, but she obviously didn't know what was best for her, because all she did was start complaining again.Finally her yelling was too much for the saiyan and he turned, walking away and plotting.He knew that she treated him like a punk because he had somewhat of a reputation as a mean guy, but he wondered how she would treat someone she liked."Trunks snorted, knowing that there wasn't much difference, even Bulma had trouble not laughing at this idea.

"So the next day instead of waiting for little blue to show up in the woods the saiyan went straight to her fathers house.After *Cough* gently knocking the old man into unconsciousness the saiyan put on the old guy's white coat and climbed under one of the machines he was always working on.Soon the door opened and little blue came running in, her basket on her arm as always."Vegeta's voice jumped again into his badly done rendition of Bulma, making both Trunks and her smirk.

"'Hello father!I brought you some food and a new copy of that playboy that you so enjoy!' She said, almost making the saiyan jump.She walked closer, curious as to why her father refused to respond and looked him over closely. 'Why father!What big calves you have!' she said, probably wondering when her father had started wearing spandex.The saiyan choked, thinking quickly. 'The better to... take walks with you my dear.' He said, pleased at his quick wit."

"She went on, checking out things that most would never think of on their fathers. 'Why father!What a nice butt you have!' she stated, almost making the world-weary saiyan turn red.'Umm... why thank you my dear, I've been... uhh... working out.' He replied.'I bet mom really appreciates that!' She stated knowingly, causing the warrior to sit up abruptly in horror.You see, he knew her mother and any mention of that strange lady was enough to make him want to hide.She started laughing then, completely unaware of the danger she was in."Why father!What big hair you have!' she cried.By this time she was rolling on the floor, much to the disgust of the saiyan."By this time in real life Trunks was braying like a donkey, tears of laughter streaming down his face.Even Vegeta had a slight smirk on his face, knowing that the only two who would know of this were the brat and the woman sitting out in the hall.

Bulma was laughing as well, sure that her sons laughter would conceal her own.When they had finished Vegeta started again, a slight trace of humor in his voice that even he couldn't conceal. "The saiyan glared down at her, knowing that even he would have a hard time making her behave.'Why father...' She choked out between gales of laughter, 'What great arms you have!' The saiyan smirked, then easily replied. 'The better to beat you with!' he stated, grabbing her and slinging her over his shoulder.Soon the saiyan had little blue screaming shrew just where he wanted, cooking and cleaning for him like a good little mate."Vegeta smirked at the muffled gasp of outrage from the hallway.

"And then they had a brat of their own, one who promised to be just as strong if not stronger then the Kakkoratt brats." Trunks smiled sleepily, burying further into his sheets as his father ruffled his hair lightly."Now go to sleep, brat.We start training in the morning."With a muffled good night the little half saiyan did just that.

Vegeta walked out, startling Bulma by looking down with a smirk."So woman, do you need a bedtime story too?"She cocked her head, contemplating.

"Why didn't you tell him the truth?"She asked, oddly withdrawn.

"What makes you think I didn't?"He asked, walking by with a small smirk.She watched, wondering if she had been caught off guard once again and just hadn't noticed.Then she smiled and admired his butt as he walked away.

The end. 


End file.
